Divorce: A better Life

My 18 month marriage and almost 2 years of messy divorce proceedings is coming to an end. During the time of the marriage the community debt reached over $90,000. Part of that debt was the wedding at just under $40,000, but it was the party of the decade for 350 people, mostly acquaintances and family. There are always two sides to every story, and this story is from the perspective of the person that got left with holding the burden of the community debt. The union of two people means to love each other for better or worse. When things get worse you would think a couple would want to work out their differences at all costs. However this isn't always the case, and when one person decides it's over it really is over. Some might say I was taken advantage of, while others may state life isn’t fair, so deal with it. Either way I find myself in a better place emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

Emotionally I have grown stronger, as I recognized and acknowledge my own weakness in this life. This was a difficult lesson to learn. During this time emotions tend to revolve around self doubt, sadness, and blame. Learning that I was not the sole cause of a marriage collapsing was one of the first steps to healing. I won’t lie, leaving the country and taking an adventure down to Costa Rica did help, but I was running from the real issues. The sadness was still there and blame when in all directions. Admitting my own sadness gave me the strength to stop blaming others for my own fears and helped me to communicate openly.

Spiritually my outlook on life has changed as I looked inside universally. Seeking the help from others, such as counselors and doing the actual work needed to accomplish inner peace was essential. There must have been over a dozen books that were read on how to create your own happiness. The lessons that was learned is that there is an enormous power in manifesting the world you want to live in. By keeping a positive emotional position on life and sending those thoughts out into the universe, proved that I can have the life I want. Today I have never been happier with who I am and the world is exactly where it was manifested to be. A new group of wonderful friends, hobbies and adventures awaits me as I move forward in this life.

Financially the drain on my income has become better. Even though we had 2 incomes we were still struggling with payments on the accumulated outflow of cash. The credit cards seemed to get worse every month even with the additional payments that were made. I was mystified by the increasing credit debt that was out of my control. Having cash available wasn’t sufficient; our wants exceeded our means and quickly increased the amount owed. Now that I no longer have the weight of outgoing expenses caused by over use of the credit cards I am able to manage the cash flow that seemed to take over our lives. In addition the amounts paid in attorney fees every month has come to an end and is now being used towards the debt WE got ourselves into. To this day she has not accepted responsibility for this part; however we all know the truth.

Personally I felt the divorce wasn’t fair, but this is all about perspective. I took the lesser of two evils and purposed a settlement that any reasonable person would jump on. Originally I was only asking half the remainder of the wedding debt and the credit card that she used. I wasn’t that lucky and in the end I settled for a very low percentage of the community debt as the cost for going to trial wasn’t worth the effort of attempting to claim what was 50% hers. Accepting responsibility for one actions is a testament that person character. I have accepted the responsibility for my own actions and dealt with them accordingly, if only others could do the same.

We all go through these trials for a reason. The positive side of this trial is I learned who I am, and how to openly communicate, teaching me patience, understanding, and strength that most likely I would not have had without this lesson. Some might say that my marriage was a failure, whereas I look at it as a huge success. I am now with a woman who makes me incredibly happy and gets me. Our communication is beyond extraordinary and we are the couple that most people would be jealous of.